26 April 2009


I should mention that we are away for a week in Brisbane for a conference and a wedding so there probably won't be anything new here for a little bit.  So far our plane has been delayed 4 1/2 hours, they lost our stroller (we have it back now) and Seth has been sleeping horrible...but other than that we are having a good time.  Got to hear Joel Holm (Author of Church Centered Mission - good book) at church on Sunday which was very good.  If anything interesting happens I'll be sure to jot it down.

21 April 2009

To Be Refreshed

Psalm 51:10-12 (NIV)

Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.  Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me.  Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

20 April 2009

Proverbs 2

...More on the previous post later. Now I thought I would share one of my favourite bits of scripture.

Proverbs 2:1-6
My son, if you accept my words and store up my commands within you, turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding, and if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God. For the Lord gives wisdom, and from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.

I came across these verses a few years ago when I was feeling very confused and frustrated about my future. I wanted understanding and the above scripture promised that if I did those things I would get it. So I decided to test out Gods word. I thought, He’s got to do it because He’s put it in the bible.

Christmas was coming up and Matt and I were going to spend a week at him mum and dad’s. I thought that would be a great place to try it out.

Looking at the first part it talks about accepting God’s words and storing up His commands within you. I took this to mean I should be getting into the Word and getting it into me. So that was my first step...to spend a lot of time reading my bible...especially when I didn’t feel like it. As I was doing this I did my best to open my ears to hear God speak. I spent a lot of time walking around the property praying and ‘calling out for insight and crying aloud for understanding’ and when I didn’t get anything I kept ‘looking for it as for silver and searching as for hidden treasure’.

I spent a good few days on this, and while I understand that this scripture is something I should be living out every day I felt desperate times called for desperate measures. And so this went on for a few days, and every time I wanted to give up I remembered about the part on silver and hidden treasure. I knew if there was a million dollars buried somewhere on the property I wouldn’t stop until I found it...so I kept going.

At this time I had been giving God two choices about what he could do with my life...yes that’s right, I gave God the options, and as I was spending time doing the above searching and not hearing a thing and getting very frustrated, God reminded me of that and basically said ‘what do you think you are doing’ oops... it suddenly dawned on me. I felt so embarrassed and basically repented of what I had been doing. Repenting for giving God options may seem a little extreme, but that is what I wanted to do because I was limiting God in my life and that is certainly not what I want to be doing. I went to bed peaceful that night and was determined to keep searching.

The next day I spent some time praying and offering up my future to God saying to him that if he wanted me in the same place for 5 more months or 5 more years I would be ok with that as long as it was what he wanted...then I felt God tell me everything would change in less than a year...that may seem a little strange and God certainly doesn’t give me that much information all the time, but less than a year later I got pregnant with my little boy and a few months later we moved to the beautiful spot we are living now.

So now I try to live that scripture so I can be more aware of what God is doing. Of course I don't always, and sometimes have to get back into it, but it's like anything...you have to keep practicing.

And if you read the previous post you will notice that God is doing some more stuff, but this time He hasn’t given me an idea of when or what, only a strong sense that he is doing something...and sanding off a few rough edges to get me ready, ouch.

P.S. If you want to read a really amazing picture of what it is to search for wisdom as for treasure, have a read of Job 28...

17 April 2009


Matt (my husband) and I are now in a position where we have neither the capacity nor the ability to do anything. So anything that happens is wholey and entirely God...I better hold on with two hands...

14 April 2009

Sometimes I Really Don't Like it When God Tries to Make Me a Better Person

It’s a long title I know, but not long ago God decided that I needed to have a better grasp on the concept of contentment… I was feeling a bit sorry for myself, not happy with my circumstances, but let me put things in perspective…

Before we moved to where we are now, we lived in a small place with the neighbour’s door facing ours. Many days we unwillingly got to watch what they were watching on TV (lucky us). It felt very crowded and there was no where to get away. I was discontent, thinking to myself, if only we lived somewhere better, then I would be happy.

Fast-forward a bit and here I am living across the road from the beach in a small community. I can see the ocean from my bedroom window and I take my son for walks on the beach most days. So there I was on the beach boohooing myself (I know it’s stupid, but I’m just being honest about where I was in my head.), and there is God with this exclamation point hanging over the situation. It’s easy to see why people would be discontent when they have little, but I discovered you can be just as discontent with plenty. But I was afraid that if I felt content with were I was in life, that I would stay there. I only half believed that, so that half battled with the other half of me that was willing to learn and change. I also noticed that there is a macabre satisfaction in being unhappy.

I love what Paul says in Philippians 4:11-13 (NIV) ‘…for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.’

The great thing about being a Christian is that when you give your life to Christ and become like a servant to him, you are no longer bound by your circumstances, because circumstances are no obstruction to God’s plans. He can pick you up and put you down somewhere new in the blink of an eye. In fact, our move out here to the beach all happened within about 2 weeks. And that was really the light bulb for me. Learning that to be content does not mean you are satisfied with where you are in life, but it is an understanding that ‘I can do everything through him who gives me strength’. And one really great outcome that happened from not thinking about myself so much is that I can begin to hear God a whole lot clearer.

At the moment, nothing has changed except my attitude, and I am so grateful for that because I am enjoying the beach so much more now!

12 April 2009


This was written a long time before Jesus was even on this earth...

Isaiah 53
He grew up before him like a tender shoot, and like a root out of dry ground. He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him. He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows, yet we considered him stricken by God, smitten by him, and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed. We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all.

He was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth; he was led like a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is silent, so he did not open his mouth. By oppression and judgment he was taken away. And who can speak of his descendants? For he was cut off from the land of the living; for the transgression of my people he was stricken. He was assigned a grave with the wicked, and with the rich in his death, though he had done no violence, nor was any deceit in his mouth.

Yet it was the Lord's will to crush him and cause him to suffer, and though the Lord makes his life a guilt offering, he will see his offspring and prolong his days, and the will of the Lord will prosper in his hand. After the suffering of his soul, he will see the light of life, and be satisfied; by his knowledge my righteous servant will justify many, and he will bear their iniquities. Therefore I will give him a portion among the great, and he will divide the spoils with the Strong, because he poured out his life unto death, and was numbered with the transgressors. For he bore the sin of many, and made intercession for the transgressors.

09 April 2009

Use Me

Fear…I was asked to speak at a women’s meeting at church not long ago and as I began to prepare I asked God what He wanted me to talk about. As I stared out the window (I do that sometimes when I talk to God, look up at the sky…), it wasn’t long before I felt God tell me ‘Fear’. Not a problem, I thought. So I started by looking through my bible for verses on fear…that was the easy part.

I had about a month to prepare so with all of that time, I was very eager to bring a relevant message to the women. I prayed often and read my bible, but nothing was coming to mind. I was just staring into a big black hole. Normally I get some ideas quite easily and put them together for a nice talk. Day after day I prayed… and thought… and stared…nothing. I was beginning to see the real fear that I had within myself. It is a fear that probably remains to this day, that I am still working out. I have a fear that if God asks me to do something that is beyond me and I go out to do it shouting with my arms raised, into battle, that I will turn around and God will be no where in sight. I’m afraid God won’t back me up. Now, mind you this has never happened before…God has always been there. Most of the fears we have are not rational, especially when they are fears about God missing the mark. I kept asking God what He was doing. I was doing everything right so where was He.

So the time came and I went to the meeting with a half dozen verses and an example of fear in my life. God said to me as I walked in ‘I knew who was going to be here when I told you what I wanted you to speak about’. It gave me only a little comfort. I got up to speak and started crying because that is what I do when I get emotional and I blame it on my mother (she does the same). I did everything you are not supposed to do when public speaking. I repeated myself, rambled, apologized…it was embarrassing. And as we stood at the front of the church singing some praise and worship I complained to God. What did He think He was doing? I wanted to make a difference. I did everything I could. I held up my end of the bargain, so where was God with His. Then the lady next to me put her hand on my shoulder and said ‘that message was for me, can you pray for me?’ So I did, and when I finished I looked up and saw many of the women there with tears streaming down their faces, God was working at getting rid of fear in a lot of those women. One woman even said she was driving there in the morning asking God what the deal was with fear.

God was gentle with me. There were no ‘I told you so’s’, just a quiet pat on the back. He understood, somehow.

I realized something important that morning…or was it a few days later…funnily enough it didn’t have to do with fear. God showed me that He doesn’t need us to be the best at what we do with great gifts and talents…all he needs us to do is put up our hand up and say ‘use me’. And He always shows up.

1 Corinthians 2:1-4 (NIV)
When I came to you, brothers, I did not come with eloquence or superior wisdom as I proclaimed to you the testimony about God. For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. I came to you in weakness and fear, and with much trembling. My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirits power, so that your faith might not rest on men’s wisdom, but on Gods power.

08 April 2009

My Water Jar

OK, so here goes...my first post...why am I nervous?? I never thought I would blog. I'm one of those people that won't do something just because it's popular. I didn't wear burkenstocks until people stopped wearing them, but I enjoy writing and this is a way to get myself to write.

I chose the name 'My Water Jar' for my blog because of the woman at the well. She put down her water jar to tell people in the town about a man she just met named Jesus...so for two reasons I chose the name. One, because I hope that what I write can give water to the thirsty. I'm a Christian so that will be reflected in what I write. If you don't like it, don't read it. Two, because I plan to do some study for my writing and I hope that will fill up my water jar. One apology is that I am horrendous with punctuation...so if you are good at it...I'm sorry.