Sometimes I love the adventure of not knowing what is coming next…and sometimes I grow weary and wish things were laid out before me.
I’m going to be giving birth to our beautiful little girl in a few months and the mother in me desires a home to bring her to, but the daughter of God in me has ‘wings like eagles’ I can run and not grow weary (Isaiah 40:31)… ‘ay there’s the rub’ as Hamlet would say. And so I find myself eager to serve God in whatever is in store for our lives, but feeling anxious because I feel as if we’ve been groping around most of the time just searching for another foot hold to step into.
The other night I spent some time with the big man, asking for Him to speak to me on the subject. I have often in the past gone into this prayer time only willing to hear God say ‘you can have that’ which he very rarely does, which causes me to come out of those times frustrated that God did not speak to me. So I made sure to keep my mind open to whatever it was I needed to hear.
I thought maybe I should stop asking for things and let God do it, but that didn’t seem right to me because God cares about what is in our hearts and wants to bless us and give us the desires of our hearts… and so God took me back to a passage I had read about a week ago in Philippians 4:6
‘Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, which thanksgiving, present your requests to the Lord.’
And it became clear that the anxiety that I felt was not good, but asking for what is in my heart is good if it’s done with thanksgiving. So now I ask the Lord for what is in my heart but I’m thankful for whatever he does because I know that it will be the best thing for us and also for the Kingdom of God. And I know that God will bless us in whatever is in store no matter what happens.