02 June 2009

The other bit...

I have, more times than once, found comfort in the scripture 2 Timothy 1:7

For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline. (NIV)

At times when I have been afraid, God has reminded me of the part that says 'God did NOT give us a spirit of timidity'. And I have found great strength in that. However, more recently God has made a statement out of the other bit...the bit about self-discipline.

When I am stressed or overwhelmed, and I go into my 'self preservation' mode, my tongue tends to become very sharp. I find fault with most things said by those closest to me (I imagine there may be a few of you who know me well reading this and nodding in a knowing sort of way).

Over the past few months, I've had a hard time of it and have therefore reacted in a not so nice way to those closest to me...mainly my husband Matt. Once I noticed the way I was acting I spent time asking God to change my circumstances so that I could get back to my more normal pleasant self. That's when He reminded me that He has given me a spirit of self-discipline...

'But I don't want to discipline myself to be nicer I just want you to change things so I don't react so poorly'

God wasn't having any of it, and so, every time I found myself reacting in a bad way, that part of the verse would pop into my head. I'm sorry to say, I did a pretty poor job of it. But I think I'm starting to get the hang of it...hold on, let me just ask Matt what he thinks...



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